Arlene Elvera Skoog Howell Zook (1927-1968)

After many days considering who would be the first of my children's ancestors to be spotlighted in my blog, I have settled on the woman who gave birth to my dear husband.

Arlene Elvera Skoog Howell & son, Ronald William Howell (Zook)

at family home in Toledo, Oregon (1947)

Now some might think it strange I would choose my mother-in-law, but when you consider the circumstances, it's not such a strange choice, afterall.  You see, though Arlene Skoog (Howell-Zook) died of cervical cancer four years before Ron and I even met, she has been a constant presence in our home, which started one night while we were sleeping.

When Ron and I were newlyweds, my deceased mother-in-law visited our home.  Ron just woke up from a sound sleep, and saw his mother at the foot of our bed.  It wasn't a 'Ghost Whisperer' or 'Medium' type of visit, but rather a calm, peaceful, comforting 'I love you and am proud of you' moment for him.  Immediately after she left, Ron woke me to share his experience.  Being the supportive and loving wife that I am, my first thought was "You think she would have called first," immediately followed by "Oh, No!  There are dishes in the sink!"  That night, Ron and I KNEW we were 'with child', we were going to have a son, and his name would be 'Ronald Michael Zook', even though that was a name we had NEVER considered (and we had all our children's names selected before we were ever married).  It was no surprise to us when a few days later, the OB Doc confirmed what we had learned the night of Arlene's visit.  At the time of delivery, it was also no surprise to be told our first child was a boy.

ARLENE ELVERA SKOOG was born 15 July 1927 in Toledo, Oregon to parents: William Forest Skoog and Anna May Oswald Skoog.

Arlene Elvera Skoog (circa 1929)

Arlene was the second child born into the Skoog family. About two months after Arlene's 1st birthday, Arlene's older sister and playmate, Audrey, died.

Audrey posing on family car...NOT how she died! (in case you were wondering)

Less than a year later, about two months after Arlene celebrated her 2nd birthday, another sister, Beverly JoAnn was born.

After JoAnn, five more children joined the Skoog family:

1939: Arlene-12, JoAnn-10, George-8, Bill-6, Chris-1

Three years after this photo was taken, twins were born:

Jackie & Richard Lamont, however, Richard only lived a little over one month

With six children living in the Skoog household, Arlene felt closest to JoAnn, most likely because JoAnn was the next youngest child in age to Arlene. Whatever the reason, these two sisters became lifelong best friends.

As children, they were partners in crime:

L-R: Arlene Elvera Skoog & Beverly JoAnn Skoog

As teens, they shared makeup, clothes & secrets: 

L-R: Arlene Skoog, (?), and JoAnn Skoog

As adults, when one was in trouble, the other was always there to offer support, comfort, and advice.

L-R: Beverly JoAnn Skoog Farlow & Arlene Elvera Skoog Howell

Family stories about Arlene include the two sisters sneaking off to Washington State, where Arlene was going to be married (without her parents' knowledge).  When her fiance' abandoned his bride and her sister, the girls had to call their parents to rescue them and bring them home.  Ron and I have always wondered the identity of that young man.  We did find one record, a Marriage Application signed by Arlene and a "David C. Austin".  Both were 18 at the time.  We did find a person by that name with ties to Toledo, Oregon (where they were both from), but no marriage certificate was ever filed.  We've wondered if the young man with Arlene and JoAnn in the photo above may be David Austin.  Then again,  maybe not!

Another time, Arlene ran off with Troy Howell to be married in Idaho (again, without her parents' knowledge).  Even though everyone in both families always believed the two never did get married, we found their marriage certificate to prove it.  Sadly, Troy abandoned Arlene while she was pregnant with my husband, Ron.  So, once again, her parents were called to rescue her.  William and Anna May Skoog drove to Idaho to bring their daughter and unborn grandchild home to Toledo.  Desperate to provide a father for her child, Arlene then began spending time with a man whose name was Roy Blumstrom (or something like that).  This man is reported to have been a very violent and abusive man.  When Arlene became pregnant with her second child, Larry, tensions were high.  However, when she found out she was expecting a third child, Roy became so enraged that he threatened all members of Arlene's family that he would kill everyone if Arlene even thought of bringing another screaming baby into his house.  Evidently, everyone in the family felt he was capable of such (rumor has it he was eventually sent to prison).  As a result of Roy's threats, Arlene and her parents made arrangements with friends, Gerhard and Helen Renken, who would adopt her child.  Though they had tried for years, the Renkens were unable to have children of their own.  Arlene had always wanted a little girl, and when this, her third child, a daughter, was born, she was heartbroken that her baby girl would be raised by someone else.  Fortunately, because the two families were friends, Arlene was able to watch Penny grow.  After some time, however, the pain became unbearable, and she stopped visiting the Renken family.  Being unable to hold and kiss her baby girl, hearing her call another woman 'momma' became too much for Arlene to bear.  Arlene extracted promises from all family members, that for as long as she was alive, no one was to tell her children she ever gave up one of her babies.  The last thing she wanted was for any of them to wonder when she might give them away, too.  After hearing these tragic stories of Arlene's life, I was able to better understand (and not take offense) when upon announcing to Ron's family that we were expecting our first child, my father-in-law, David Zook, got really quiet and said, "You know, Arlene was a real good mom.  She never left the kids with a sitter.  They were with her wherever she went." (A philosophy my mother-in-law and I did not share, by the way.)

In 1954, Arlene met and married David Jonathan Zook, who later adopted both Ron and Larry as his own.  My father-in-law once told me that when he met Arlene, she was a waitress at a restaurant in Sweet Home, which he often frequented.  Over time, he got to know Arlene, and saw her struggling to eke out a living to raise her two boys on her own.  It was his admiration and respect for her that motivated him to ask her to marry him.  That, and the fact he knew "Those two boys needed a father to guide them."  Through this union, Arlene gave birth to another daughter, Connie Jean.

L-R: Ron Zook, Connie Zook, Larry Zook (circa 1956)

Throughout Arlene's remaining years on this earth, her children never knew they had another sister.  However, Ron once told me that even as a child, he always had the feeling someone was missing in the family, but never thought to talk to his mom about it.  Ron was four years old when Penny was born and given up for adoption, so perhaps he did remember something.

The Zook family was a happy family, and for the most part, life was good.  Ron remembers his mother as a great cook, and a very good artist (her specialty was sketching people).  She loved pansies, and the smell of lilacs in the Spring.  In her spare time, Arlene liked to read romance novels and enjoyed visiting with the neighbors, all the while taking excellent care of her family.

In 1967, Ron was serving in Thailand with the Air Force, when he learned his mother, Arlene, was dying.  He was given a compassionate reassignment so he could be closer to home.  In 1968 Arlene died, and after burying his mom, Ron had to finish out his tour in Vietnam.  A few months after arriving in Nam, and during mail call, he received a fancy envelope, with fancy handwriting, and smelling of fancy perfume.  Of course, Ron's Air Force buddies teased him about having a girl back home, but he just figured it was from a High School girl whose English class was given an assignment to write letters to servicemen for a class project (which was common during the war).  Upon opening the envelope, this picture fell on the ground (the marks are tiny scratches, due to the photo being carried around in Ron's wallet for many years after he received it):

Penny Renken (HS Graduation Photo)

The letter accompanying the photo started out with something like: "Dear Ron, you don't know who I am, but my name is Penny, and I am your sister!  I've always dreamed of having a big brother, and can't wait to meet you!"  She then continued, relating to her big brother the story she had been told by her parents about the circumstances of her birth.

When Ron and I were married in December 1974, all of Arlene's children were in our wedding party

(I like to think Arlene was there, too):

L-R: Penny Sinclair, Connie Zook, Me, Ron, & Larry Zook

And in about 1977, we all got together for Christmas at Leon and Penny's house:

Standing (L-R): Ron Zook, Larry Zook

Sitting (L-R): Penny Sinclair, Grandma Floyd (Arlene's mother), Connie Zook

In May of 1981, being only 30 years old, Penny died of complications due to diabetes.  I like to think, that for the first time, Penny was then, finally, able to meet the woman who not only gave her life, but loving parents, two big brothers, and a younger sister, as well.  I look forward to the day when I, too, will have the opportunity to meet Arlene.  I hope to tell her about her grandchildren and great-grandchildren (though I suspect she already knows about them).  I want to thank her for raising a mischievous little boy into an amazing man who is full of love and kindness and laughter.

I long to hear her stories of what Ron was REALLY like as a child. 

Arlene and Ron (circa 1949)

But most of all,

I want to just give her a hug, thank her for all the sacrifices she made as a mom,

and for being a constant presence in our home.

(And then, I hope she doesn't scold me for leaving dirty dishes in the sink the night she came to visit.)